India is at the epitome of a movement, with #MeToo finally emerging in the country and it is now time for the women to stand up and speak about the atrocities they have faced in their lives - and still face.
But what about the men? Do they always remain at the culprit side of the story? Or they face such atrocities too?
Many of you would say that 'men' are always the culprits and how can someone do something like this with the men. But, I would like to turn your attention to the fact that - YES, Men do face the same atrocities but most of them don't come out. As you know, the #MeToo movement in India has started and women are going to their Twitter handles, Facebook profiles and telling about the kind of harassment they have faced at their workplaces. Mainly, it was the women working in the sector.
Out of 1000 stories, a story that came out as a shock to everyone was MINE. Yes, I too have a #MeToo story. Maybe not as horrific as women must have faced, but harassment is harassment, it doesn't see genders. It is only is who make it a "gender movement". Two years having a horrific encounter at one of my job interviews, one of my friends told me that #MeToo has started in India too. I took to Twitter and he was right. From young girls to experienced women in the media fraternity, everyone was sharing about their ordeal. Then he asked, "when are you going to tell your story?" I look at him and said, "No one would believe me because I am a guy and people would say that he is telling fake stories. So, I don't want to get into that." But she told me to tell your experience and let the world know that guys too face such problems or else it would always be considered that men are INVINCIBLE. First of all, let me tell, MEN are not INVINCIBLE. They never have been and they never will be. I gave it a thought and I felt I think I am ready to tell my story to the world. I don't know how they will react but it was important for me to fend this weight off my shoulder.
So, here what happened -
"It was my second ever interview and I was relatively new to the field of journalism. I was excited yet nervous because I was still learning as to how should I be in an interview. After waiting for 20 minutes, the head of the magazine (where I went for the job) called me in her room and told me to sit down. I sat down as she sat just in front of me. She asked my name and made me comfortable. But, then she asked me, if I have a girlfriend or not? Taken back by this question, I said, 'No ma'am, I don't have a girlfriend'. She looked at me with a smile and stood up to close the door."
At that time, I did not think what was going to happen to me. The next moment, I see her sitting much closer to me, which made me really uncomfortable. She put her hand on my thigh and said, "See, you can grow at this place if you'll work for me and keep me happy." I could not understand and did not say a word. What happened next was something that I never expected in a job interview. She took her hands towards my private parts and started moving her hands there.
I quickly got up and said, "What are you doing?" And I did not want to talk as I was really horrified of what just happened. But she could not take that someone so junior to her has said "no" to her. She again told me to sit down and said, 'Let's just talk'. I went loud and said, "No, I don't want to. You are a disgusting person". That made her a bit frustrated and she said, " Don't scream. If you tell anything to anyone out there, I will tell everyone that you tried to molest me inside my office. I will ruin your career. What do you think of yourself?"
I got really scared because my career had just started and by her tone, it was clearly evident that she was a powerful woman. She had contacts, she had that power that she could really ruin someone's future if she wanted to. I just said, "Please ma'am, let me leave. I won't tell anything to anyone but I don't want this job." She looked at me and opened the door for me. I quickly ran through the stairs and got out. I took a sigh of relief but I was speechless after what happened in that cabin. So many thoughts came to my mind. Should I file a complaint? What if she really ruins my career? What if she tells anyone that I tried to do something wrong to her? Scared by just thinking of it. I promised myself that I'll not think of what happened there & just move on. This was easier said than done.
Next day, I receive a message from an unknown number, which read, "Do you still want to work for me? Just do what I said yesterday and you'll be earning well and also have an important post to your name." I did not reply to the message and just deleted that text. Next day, I got a text from another number, which read, "Don't you know what you are missing? This is the opportunity of a lifetime. See, I have needs and you seem to be the best to fulfil that. Come tomorrow, we'll have a chat." I ignored the text and blocked both the numbers. But, now it was all in my mind, whenever my phone would, I used to be terrified that what if it is her.
The third day, I did not receive a message. The fourth day, I again received a message which stated, "You are such wuss. You don't even have the guts to come here and talk to me. You are an embarrassment. You don't have anything in you. And now see, what I'll do. I'll break you and your career is over now. You won't be able to get a job. I'll have you blacklisted. I have ruined so many careers, now you'll add up to that list. Goodbye." I read that message and threw my phone away, locked myself in the room and just cried my heart out. I was having so many negative thoughts and once even think to take my life. But could not gather the strength. I could not sleep, I could not eat. Every time it was like her face coming in front of my eyes. It was such a difficult time for me to even concentrate on my career.
It got so bad that I got home from the next two interviews without even facing round one. For almost two weeks, I could not eat, I could not sleep, I had to take sleeping pills for some time to sleep. The messages stopped, but it was becoming difficult to get that thing outside my head. One day, while going out with friends, one of my friends saw me crying while sitting on the stairs of my house. She came and asked me the reason. I gathered the strength and told her everything. That friend of mine was already working in the same company and she was the one who referred to me in that organization. I kept on crying and told her my ordeal. I could not even move for some days and decided to just stay at home. I would never go outside, even if my friends called me or anyone else, I could not gather the strength to go out.
After 3 months of the incident, I was back at my normal, got a job and was having a great time in my life. But, this horrific ordeal was still with me. I would get flashbacks, which would make me go into my shell for some time being. Now, that I saw women are coming up with their terrifying experiences, I got the strength to tell it to the world. I was ready to face everything and was expecting some really insensitive comments. When I wrote about my incident, people did not believe that it could happen to a man and especially me. One of the Twitter users commented that "I was so ugly that a woman would not even want to be 500ft away from me". Another one wrote that " it is such a great sex story and I should write an erotic novel". One even went ahead and told me that "I should have manned up and should have fulfilled her needs because this whole scene is a fantasy for so many guys".
While going through the comments, I thought that if a guy has to face all this, I can't imagine what a woman has to go through to even speak about what happened to her. See, I don't care if these guys believe of what I have said. The only thing I cared about is that if they don't, believe me, that is fine, but mocking it shatters my inner strength. A person has gone through so much, people don't understand because they have never been in the situation, neither I want them to be in such situations.
I never thought this would happen to me. No one goes to their workplaces thinking that she/he would get touched inappropriately or would hear people talking crass about their body or anything else. But if you believe that only women face such problems, you are wrong, men face it too. But they don't come outside in the fear that he would not be taken seriously and would be shamed for telling such a story.
But I want to thank all the women that supported me. They messaged me and gave me blessings, their support and said that "you are very brave". Now, when I hear this, I get a confidence boost and give me an idea that I did not do anything wrong in sharing my episode with them. I always heard that women are always really caring and by seeing the support, I now cannon deny the fact that they are caring, 100 times more than the men.
At last, I want to say that even if you don't believe me. Just try not to mock my story. Because I know what I went through and how I have made it to the position where I am right now. It is not easy, not for me and certainly not for thousands of women who have shared their horrifying experience. Don't make it gender specific and I just hope no one ever gets into such a position.
God bless you all. Keep smiling always.
But what about the men? Do they always remain at the culprit side of the story? Or they face such atrocities too?
Many of you would say that 'men' are always the culprits and how can someone do something like this with the men. But, I would like to turn your attention to the fact that - YES, Men do face the same atrocities but most of them don't come out. As you know, the #MeToo movement in India has started and women are going to their Twitter handles, Facebook profiles and telling about the kind of harassment they have faced at their workplaces. Mainly, it was the women working in the sector.
Out of 1000 stories, a story that came out as a shock to everyone was MINE. Yes, I too have a #MeToo story. Maybe not as horrific as women must have faced, but harassment is harassment, it doesn't see genders. It is only is who make it a "gender movement". Two years having a horrific encounter at one of my job interviews, one of my friends told me that #MeToo has started in India too. I took to Twitter and he was right. From young girls to experienced women in the media fraternity, everyone was sharing about their ordeal. Then he asked, "when are you going to tell your story?" I look at him and said, "No one would believe me because I am a guy and people would say that he is telling fake stories. So, I don't want to get into that." But she told me to tell your experience and let the world know that guys too face such problems or else it would always be considered that men are INVINCIBLE. First of all, let me tell, MEN are not INVINCIBLE. They never have been and they never will be. I gave it a thought and I felt I think I am ready to tell my story to the world. I don't know how they will react but it was important for me to fend this weight off my shoulder.
So, here what happened -
"It was my second ever interview and I was relatively new to the field of journalism. I was excited yet nervous because I was still learning as to how should I be in an interview. After waiting for 20 minutes, the head of the magazine (where I went for the job) called me in her room and told me to sit down. I sat down as she sat just in front of me. She asked my name and made me comfortable. But, then she asked me, if I have a girlfriend or not? Taken back by this question, I said, 'No ma'am, I don't have a girlfriend'. She looked at me with a smile and stood up to close the door."
At that time, I did not think what was going to happen to me. The next moment, I see her sitting much closer to me, which made me really uncomfortable. She put her hand on my thigh and said, "See, you can grow at this place if you'll work for me and keep me happy." I could not understand and did not say a word. What happened next was something that I never expected in a job interview. She took her hands towards my private parts and started moving her hands there.
I quickly got up and said, "What are you doing?" And I did not want to talk as I was really horrified of what just happened. But she could not take that someone so junior to her has said "no" to her. She again told me to sit down and said, 'Let's just talk'. I went loud and said, "No, I don't want to. You are a disgusting person". That made her a bit frustrated and she said, " Don't scream. If you tell anything to anyone out there, I will tell everyone that you tried to molest me inside my office. I will ruin your career. What do you think of yourself?"
I got really scared because my career had just started and by her tone, it was clearly evident that she was a powerful woman. She had contacts, she had that power that she could really ruin someone's future if she wanted to. I just said, "Please ma'am, let me leave. I won't tell anything to anyone but I don't want this job." She looked at me and opened the door for me. I quickly ran through the stairs and got out. I took a sigh of relief but I was speechless after what happened in that cabin. So many thoughts came to my mind. Should I file a complaint? What if she really ruins my career? What if she tells anyone that I tried to do something wrong to her? Scared by just thinking of it. I promised myself that I'll not think of what happened there & just move on. This was easier said than done.
Next day, I receive a message from an unknown number, which read, "Do you still want to work for me? Just do what I said yesterday and you'll be earning well and also have an important post to your name." I did not reply to the message and just deleted that text. Next day, I got a text from another number, which read, "Don't you know what you are missing? This is the opportunity of a lifetime. See, I have needs and you seem to be the best to fulfil that. Come tomorrow, we'll have a chat." I ignored the text and blocked both the numbers. But, now it was all in my mind, whenever my phone would, I used to be terrified that what if it is her.
The third day, I did not receive a message. The fourth day, I again received a message which stated, "You are such wuss. You don't even have the guts to come here and talk to me. You are an embarrassment. You don't have anything in you. And now see, what I'll do. I'll break you and your career is over now. You won't be able to get a job. I'll have you blacklisted. I have ruined so many careers, now you'll add up to that list. Goodbye." I read that message and threw my phone away, locked myself in the room and just cried my heart out. I was having so many negative thoughts and once even think to take my life. But could not gather the strength. I could not sleep, I could not eat. Every time it was like her face coming in front of my eyes. It was such a difficult time for me to even concentrate on my career.
It got so bad that I got home from the next two interviews without even facing round one. For almost two weeks, I could not eat, I could not sleep, I had to take sleeping pills for some time to sleep. The messages stopped, but it was becoming difficult to get that thing outside my head. One day, while going out with friends, one of my friends saw me crying while sitting on the stairs of my house. She came and asked me the reason. I gathered the strength and told her everything. That friend of mine was already working in the same company and she was the one who referred to me in that organization. I kept on crying and told her my ordeal. I could not even move for some days and decided to just stay at home. I would never go outside, even if my friends called me or anyone else, I could not gather the strength to go out.
After 3 months of the incident, I was back at my normal, got a job and was having a great time in my life. But, this horrific ordeal was still with me. I would get flashbacks, which would make me go into my shell for some time being. Now, that I saw women are coming up with their terrifying experiences, I got the strength to tell it to the world. I was ready to face everything and was expecting some really insensitive comments. When I wrote about my incident, people did not believe that it could happen to a man and especially me. One of the Twitter users commented that "I was so ugly that a woman would not even want to be 500ft away from me". Another one wrote that " it is such a great sex story and I should write an erotic novel". One even went ahead and told me that "I should have manned up and should have fulfilled her needs because this whole scene is a fantasy for so many guys".
While going through the comments, I thought that if a guy has to face all this, I can't imagine what a woman has to go through to even speak about what happened to her. See, I don't care if these guys believe of what I have said. The only thing I cared about is that if they don't, believe me, that is fine, but mocking it shatters my inner strength. A person has gone through so much, people don't understand because they have never been in the situation, neither I want them to be in such situations.
I never thought this would happen to me. No one goes to their workplaces thinking that she/he would get touched inappropriately or would hear people talking crass about their body or anything else. But if you believe that only women face such problems, you are wrong, men face it too. But they don't come outside in the fear that he would not be taken seriously and would be shamed for telling such a story.
But I want to thank all the women that supported me. They messaged me and gave me blessings, their support and said that "you are very brave". Now, when I hear this, I get a confidence boost and give me an idea that I did not do anything wrong in sharing my episode with them. I always heard that women are always really caring and by seeing the support, I now cannon deny the fact that they are caring, 100 times more than the men.
At last, I want to say that even if you don't believe me. Just try not to mock my story. Because I know what I went through and how I have made it to the position where I am right now. It is not easy, not for me and certainly not for thousands of women who have shared their horrifying experience. Don't make it gender specific and I just hope no one ever gets into such a position.
God bless you all. Keep smiling always.
