It has been close to 2 years that i have written something, that purely came from my heart. Something that i wrote for myself and not to please any client or my colleagues. This is like a 'Homecoming' for me.
Life has taken a drastic 360 degree turn in last 365 days, professionally and personally both. Professionally, i started my journalistic career, one that i have been waiting since long. Meanwhile, personally my life has been quite tumultuous.
Life’s hard. You go through your day hoping be that when you get to your destination you’ll be welcome with a warm smile and a loving embrace. But, what if all you are greeted with is negativity or hatred all over and since last month or two these negative vibes have become stronger and stronger.
As a result, they are making my heart heavier and heavier. I have not been in a frame of mind, where i can say that "i am happy" and the biggest problem is that it shows on my face and in my behaviour. It is quite easy for people to say that i should not think about all this, but it is not what i wanted. Even if i try to go away from these things, they come back to haunt me and boy, they haunt me in much stronger way when they come back.
I never thought, in my whole life i would need to take psychiatrist help to remain calm. I took help for almost 3 weeks and i was told that you are okay and you can go now. I was happy that this phase has gone.I can start my life again and with a better perspective.
3 weeks into my normal life, this time people became the problem of my life. They forget that their attitude towards a person can make that person go into a shell from which it can get difficult to get out. This is what has happened with me, i have closed myself in a shell that i am not being able to break. I am happy at one time, in other moment i suddenly feel that i am the most miserable person in the world. Yeah, people call it mood swings, but people should go and ask how these are affecting the person who has been feeling this way, rather than giving a verdict of their own.
Since then my life has been going down, whether professionally or personally. Professionally, i have lost all my will to work at a place which gives you nothing but can be ruthless for a mistake that you did not even make. I've met people who i thought were great friends and have done nothing but contribute in making my life miserable more than ever.
Personally, i have no friends. Yes, it is true. They left me because they thought i have been ignoring, even when i was working my ass off for almost 15-16 hours everyday.
Now, i am planning to take a break from all this. Maybe just sit in my room, close all the lights, shut all the doors and just sit and just breathe. I don't care, if people at my office need me and i don't care that suddenly my friends think that i am important. I am in no mood to carry on with this treacherous kind of burden on my shoulders and i have decided to be with myself only. In the end, it is only you who walk alone to reach the ultimate destination of your life.
Today, i am not gonna end with something like 'Keep your chin high,' No! Today, i am just gonna leave it here. Today, i am just gonna close myself here.
Life has taken a drastic 360 degree turn in last 365 days, professionally and personally both. Professionally, i started my journalistic career, one that i have been waiting since long. Meanwhile, personally my life has been quite tumultuous.
Life’s hard. You go through your day hoping be that when you get to your destination you’ll be welcome with a warm smile and a loving embrace. But, what if all you are greeted with is negativity or hatred all over and since last month or two these negative vibes have become stronger and stronger.
As a result, they are making my heart heavier and heavier. I have not been in a frame of mind, where i can say that "i am happy" and the biggest problem is that it shows on my face and in my behaviour. It is quite easy for people to say that i should not think about all this, but it is not what i wanted. Even if i try to go away from these things, they come back to haunt me and boy, they haunt me in much stronger way when they come back.
I never thought, in my whole life i would need to take psychiatrist help to remain calm. I took help for almost 3 weeks and i was told that you are okay and you can go now. I was happy that this phase has gone.I can start my life again and with a better perspective.
3 weeks into my normal life, this time people became the problem of my life. They forget that their attitude towards a person can make that person go into a shell from which it can get difficult to get out. This is what has happened with me, i have closed myself in a shell that i am not being able to break. I am happy at one time, in other moment i suddenly feel that i am the most miserable person in the world. Yeah, people call it mood swings, but people should go and ask how these are affecting the person who has been feeling this way, rather than giving a verdict of their own.
Since then my life has been going down, whether professionally or personally. Professionally, i have lost all my will to work at a place which gives you nothing but can be ruthless for a mistake that you did not even make. I've met people who i thought were great friends and have done nothing but contribute in making my life miserable more than ever.
Personally, i have no friends. Yes, it is true. They left me because they thought i have been ignoring, even when i was working my ass off for almost 15-16 hours everyday.
Now, i am planning to take a break from all this. Maybe just sit in my room, close all the lights, shut all the doors and just sit and just breathe. I don't care, if people at my office need me and i don't care that suddenly my friends think that i am important. I am in no mood to carry on with this treacherous kind of burden on my shoulders and i have decided to be with myself only. In the end, it is only you who walk alone to reach the ultimate destination of your life.
Today, i am not gonna end with something like 'Keep your chin high,' No! Today, i am just gonna leave it here. Today, i am just gonna close myself here.
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